Football Senior Night

 It was pure Hell. That about sums it up. People were so kind about the whole process. My brother in law, Kenny, cooked the pregame meal for the team in Tyler's honor. The ladies in charge of the night kept me informed and included him without pushing me. Others called or texted me to let me know they were praying for us. More friends came to the game to surround us with their support.As a friend and I discussed(she is also a grieving mom)we want our children remembered and cherish the times they are honored but sometimes it is just so damn painful. To go through the special times that they are supposed to be here for and that they were looking forward to...it is excruciating. Last year when some of Tyler's best friend's stood on the field on senior night, he reminded me with his big goofy grin that it would soon be him and gave me a reassuring hug.

I knew I would like his baby picture to be hung on the fence with the other senior boys. He would have been telling everyone to look how big he was at nine months old. I knew I could bear wearing a corsage so that everyone at the game would know I was a "Senior mom". But standing on that field without my big boy while they read his accomplishments? Knowing those would be his last accomplishments? Hell no. This mama has her limits and I knew that was way beyond them. I knew it would be one of the hardest things I have ever done to be in the stands and look at the proud parents with their sons. To be honest, if Peyton had not been playing in the game, I would have been far from the stadium on that night. So what do my children do? Peyton, Rebekah, Rachel, and Kaytlin did what this mama could not do. They chose to stand on that field, with Peyton wearing his brother's number with pride, to honor the young man that couldn't be there himself.  It was HELL but I hope Tyler sat in Heaven looking down on us and knew that we did the very best we could do on a unbelievably impossible night. I believe that is all I can say about Senior night at this time...

The pictures aren't that great, but I didn't want to use the professional pictures until I pay for them

Tyler and some of his senior friends last year